All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Laugh often, long and loud. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.George Carlin, I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. Tax them. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, 2. Dont just teach your children to read Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything. You have no choice. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. October 29, 2004. Disgusting that people still make that argument that we can never cut defense but we can cut education. This is what we have to offer. } The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. There is a mistake in the text of this quote. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin died on June 22, 2008, from cardiac failure at the age of 71. stylesheet.type = "text/css"; If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin, 27. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. George Carlin 13. A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. Enjoy! Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the State houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. George Carlin, 63. Dont look for it. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. They own you. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. It creates a hostile work environment. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. You and I are not in the big club. If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air. George Carlin, 54. Required fields are marked *. It will not be with jack-boots. Continue with Recommended Cookies. I'm the Founder of SucceedFeed.com and I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and being apart of the Succeed Feed community. Lists. Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. In his 50-year career as one of Americas most poignant and provocative social critics, the irreverent actor, author and comedian left no sacred cow unsinged as he took to lobbing one grenade after the next into the comfort zones of American life. Please dont forget to subscribe to ourRSS-feedor followInspirationfeedonTwitter,Google+,andFacebook! I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. - George Carlin profile quotes. Thats the problem.George Carlin, Let a smile be your umbrella, and youll end up with a face full of rain. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past.George Carlin, Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.George Carlin, Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town.George Carlin, And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; Electricity is really just organized lightning. }, They all said: Try to live together peacefully. BAM! Resources. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. Whether you agree with him or not, George Carlins views on government are definitely worth considering. 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think! // Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Theres a humorous side to every situation. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. Quote by George Carlin: "Forget the politicians. The politicians are The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. George Carlin, 33. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. God has a three-day weekend.George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. Hes just sayin that stuff. Good. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. Here we are sharing a collection of George Carlin quotes on religion, government, and life for you to think deeply about the things you have never done before. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. George Carlin, 62. I sincerely believe that if you think theres a solution, youre part of the problem. 50 Best John Mulaney Quotes For Every Comedy Fan, 13 Best Writing Tools for Inspired Authors, 30 Of The Best Dale Carnegie Quotes on Having a Great Life, 45+ Enlightening Quotes and Pieces of Advice, Inspirational & Spiritual Quotes From (365) Days of Tumblr, 40 Progressively Inspirational Sevenly.org Quotes, 45 Inspiring Quotations That Will Change The Way You Think #2, 5 Tips To Keep In Mind Before Hiring a Therapist Online, comedy about a singer who pretends to be a nun, friday funny motivational quotes for work, funny quotes about stupidity and ignorance, george carlin don t sweat the small stuff, george carlin on god the planet and the freak show, george carlin sayings that don t make sense, i dont want nobody fucking with me in these streets, positive funny inspirational quotes for work, quotes about getting screwed over at work. They own everything. I have certain rules I live by. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Its only a piece of cloth. George Carlin, 75.The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful of insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, 4. var url; In this blog post, well take a look at some of Carlins most famous quotes on government. I have certain rules I live by. George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. We all need to let loose and laugh at things once in a while and making other people laugh as well as think and find meaning behind your jokes is an exceptional talent George Carlin has. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. The middle class pays all of the taxis, does all of the work. Its never going to get any better. Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. The people are fucked." George Carlin "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. George Carlin 'Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners.' Quotes are added by the Goodreads community and are not verified by Goodreads. Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. Enjoy! They own, and control the corporations. Hope these quotes will give you a different perspective on government and how it works. // We havent tried that for a while. window.Mobvious = {}; var ue_id = "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN"; Deal with it. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. Its interested in its own power. 70 Wise Quotes From George Carlin | Inspirationfeed Vicious Quotes Page 5. . One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. George Carlin Quotes Government George Carlin American Comedian born on May 12, 1937, died on June 22, 2008 George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. Who the fuck is going to invade the US? " George Carlin if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { I just dont have as many people who believe it.George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelet?George Carlin. Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, 26. George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, 16. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. Your dog thinks you're a god. Theres a humorous side to every situation. 125 Best George Carlin QuotesFunny George Carlin Quotes on Life Thats the problem. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Inspirational George Carlin Quotes 1. Goalcast inspires the world through stories. var googletag = googletag || {}; In America, anyone can become president. - George Carlin profile quotes. Life is a zero sum game. George Carlin, 36. My first rule, I dont believe anything the government tells me And I dont take very seriously the media or the press in this country. George Carlin, 82. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. The table is tilted, folks. And the supreme arrogance? A comedian can say things that you may not want to hear but need to. I mean, life is tough. "I have certain rules I live by. What if I want to have a crappy day?George Carlin, Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did.George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.George Carlin, So, have a little fun. The less said about it the better. George Carlin, 38. When you are born, you get a ticket to the freak show. Quote by George Carlin - SComedy 383 talking about this. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. What do you get at the end of it? Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! George Carlin quote: I have certain rules I live by. My - Lib Quotes If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Toothpicks?George Carlin, No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. He loves you. ! Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. George Carlin. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? Quote by George Carlin: "Political correctness is fascism pretending to Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Laugh until you gasp for breath." - George Carlin 3. Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin, 25. The less said about it the better. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reasonGeorge Carlin, They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. But there is an I in independence, individuality, andintegrity. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. He loves you and he needs money. I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen. // page settings I think every day all children should have 3 hours of daydreaming. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. And probably increase.George Carlin, And heres something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers arent answered. Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on it? George Carlin. } [CDATA[ }); Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get firedand get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. George Carlin, If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, Theres no present.