A son tells his father, I have an imaginary girlfriend.. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? She has written articles on pregnancy, parenting, and relationships. Guys! 67. Interested in more content to help you through your pregnancy? 6. Whats the proper punctuation for a negative pregnancy test? (However, dont worry if these jokes are not dark enough for your tastes. He named the boy Jason." They're usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable. Leave us a comment below! Whether their own or that of others. I have oneWhat the difference between a slice of pizza and a dead manA slice of pizza cant feed the whole family. 12:01 AM. Always on trend with a flair for DIY, we bring you the best in design, style, crafts, and general intrigue. Ans: When people arent sure whether to congratulate you or buy you a gym membership. Then she replies: I dont care. 35. The first sonogram pic is just like a tourist pic of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Hilarious cartoons with a dark twist. I mean, there isnt an option to kind of keep it in, is there? Then he replies: Because I see a beard. The stork is the bird that helps deliver babies. We suggest to use only working pregnant pregnant mom piadas for adults and blagues for friends. 81. The sea air worked. Peeing on a stick and preserving that stick is the start of the many disgusting things you will do as a mother. 15 years later, one of her daughters came up to her and said, "Mom, I was peeing and a bullet came out." How do you say unintended pregnancy in German? Ans: It means that the babys mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse. With any luck, right after he finishes college. But if you remind me one more time of how huge Ive gotten Im going to eat you. This article was originally published on Oct. 10, 2019, A Man Went Viral For Refusing To Give Up His Spot On A Ride To A Crying Child, An American Mom Shares The Utter Magic Of Danish Playgrounds. On a train: "Madam, could you please tell your son to stop imitating me, it's very annoying!". That must be it. I was eating like a box a day of Entenmanns donuts. Tina Fey, Being pregnant is kind of like a sedative everythings just chill. Jessica Alba, My doctor the other day was like, I think maybe pull back a little bit. I was like, Really? My wife told me she's sick of me pushing her around and talking behind her back. Also, your brother stopped by and named them for you" New Mother: "My brother named them? 40. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. Lifes a piece of shit,When you look at it.Lifes a laugh, and deaths a joke; its true.Youll see its all a show.Keep em laughin as you go.Just remember that the last laugh is on you. american people of french canadian descent And who do you suspect? . Instead, it is making light of the bad, ridiculing the villains, and empowering people to laugh in the face of adversity. What better way to calm the nerves than to listen to some light jokes about pregnancy? Turns out they dont prevent pregnancy, it just changes the color of the baby. https://goo.gl/XnUgLFHilarious absurd cartoon by Frame Order. Megha is the heart of funnyjokestoday.com - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. "Really?" Everywhere. ?" To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer." Ans: For men to be the ones who get pregnant. However, many are unwilling to give in and give a laugh for fear of condemnation. What does my dad have in common with Nemo? My phone number, my address, my name. I dont know what that is. Keira Knightley, Being pregnant finally helped me understand what my true relationship was with my body meaning that it wasnt put on this earth to look good in a swimsuit. Amy Adams, In the pregnancy process, I have come to realize how much of the burden is on the female partner. Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear-end, and even my feet have grown. 100 Best Dark Humor Jokes 1. She told her: you already have the fourth child, and everything is from John! 80. Jo says: "I have to be careful not to get pregnant." 1. How do you know kidney stones are worse than pregnancy? Youll definitely smile after watching it. Aarohi Achwal holds a bachelors degree in Commerce and a masters degree in English Literature. Remember, you and I are spouses. There was a pregnant girl about 8-9 months asking for donations. Funny Videos in YouTube Wife: That's AWESOME. Like a fart in church, knowing you shouldnt makes it that much harder to resist. They flu over his head. 37. Shes 25. After that, she replies: Yeah, so its you? Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough. How is a woman like a road? What do you call a dog with no legs? What is considered the best time to get an epidural? Sorry, I thought of that last night and just had to share my genius with the world. Not a word. 9. Effective Ways to Be Happy During Pregnancy, Safer Internet Day 2023 History, Importance, and Facts, 170 Baby Boy & Girl Name That Mean 'Gift from God', 600+ Unique & Cute Nicknames for Boys & Girls, Protecting Adolescents From Common Food and Waterborne Diseases, Why an Ideal pH 5.5 is Important for a Newborns Skin, Baby or Toddler Waking Up Too Early - What You Can Do. I laughed at their chalk outline. How is it possible? 12. Suddenly he replies: I dont want to live with my mother-in-law! Guy: Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the Lion. Then the guy replies: How? A midwife asks a young mother: Will the childs father be present at the birth? An apple a day keeps the doctor away. In fact, pregnancy can be pretty funny. 33. (a) Be pregnant. "Your husband did. Everyone has one, and it looks the same. They dont know where home is. Looking For Tips On How To Get Pregnant Fast? 7. Between the morning sickness and the swollen feet, pregnancy isnt typically a laughing matter. Your breasts after your baby stops nursing cold turkey. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh. You can tell them baby jokes now. A pundemic. 64. Today at the pharmacy I saw a woman without a face mask buying a pregnancy test. It beats boiling them in a saucepan. A woman on a bed, a man on a sofa. The journey of childbirth is filled with a range of emotions and physical exertion. 25. Other men were sitting nearby. Thus, you will find yourself laughing, and then suddenly, the true darkness of it will hit you. Ans: Are you growing a human? When he encountered a bear, he still didn't realize his mistake and pointed the umbrella and shot the bear. vanish command twitch nightbot. 36. 96. Dark humor jokes should only be told between the closest of friend groups or if you read the room well. My town's population never changes. Me: Leave that to me asked the man. I know how it feels to grow up without a father! "How can you say that? Then the doctor replied: During the first trimester, you can do it in a regular style. I want a lot of pomegranates! Ans: Your breasts after your baby stops nursing cold turkey. Suddenly Abraham answered: Why are you calling me? 27. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein. 79. People are now giving birth underwater. Accused: Because I'm an orphan. I'm not sure what he's talking about. She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant! 49. What hurts even more than childbirth? My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children. Why dont skeletons ever go trick or treating? Doctor: Alright then. Its butt. Now shut the hell up. 75. Nevertheless, it still all came from lifes same orifice. Think about our child. What part of biology class do pregnant women fear? Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor. Theyre always so twisted. Apparently, it just changes the color of the baby. **Warning** The following post contains material that some may find offensive. How is virginity like a soap bubble? Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face. Pregnancy women crave all kinds of things. Son, I'm not mad.. Just disappointed My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. We all have guilty pleasures. I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake. Whats the proper punctuation for a negative pregnancy test? What about the boy? However, you might feel bad for laughing at dark jokes. 21. Are you drinking a lot of juice? I was like, Yeah. Then he replies: We do not know. RELATED: Looking For Tips On How To Get Pregnant Fast? Only if the word alimony means anything to him. So lets take a closer look at some of the best dark humor jokes around. b) Peeing. He's an idiot! A young student announces to her parents: I am pregnant. But it doesnt have to be all doom and gloom! How is a pregnant woman similar to a toddler? Either Im pregnant, or my gases didnt go away? I said, Nah, it's probably womb temperature. Im pregnant, so I asked my husband to put the Oreos where I couldnt reach them. 100. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest. I just read that pregnant women in stressful jobs/home situations are more likely to carry female fetuses to term because male fetuses are less likely to survive that stress, and if that isnt natures subtweet I dont know what is. Kaitlyn Greenidge, Does the baby have access to my ribs? 87. As she died, she kept telling us to be positive, but its hard without her. I replied, "Yes just once." I have many jokes about unemployed peoplesadly none of them work. Ans: Dont tell me leggings arent pants. It feels like theyre bars and shes an old-timey prisoner with a tin mug. Chrissy Teigen, Three-year-old: Can the baby come out and play?. Dont let the process get to you, instead, try and enjoy it for what it is. Her skirt is not visible at all, only naked legs. Daddy, there is a man at the door. 31. You couldnt write a post about jokes without including a few naughty ones. It can be painful and frustrating at times, but it can also be pretty funny. It's called the Plaguestation 5. I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Other one asks: So how was it? Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents. Usually an overdose, I told her. Shane: Dad bought a great car so that we were having a great weekend. Woman: Well, that isn't so bad. A pregnant wife wakes up her tired husband at three in the morning: Honey, I want pomegranates. The woman asked the doctor about her baby. When you wake up and throw up, is it because youre nurturing a human life? 71. Last night I accidentally told my son he was an unplanned pregnancy. Do you think I am too old to be a dad? Does pregnancy affect a womans memory? That's exactly right, said the doctor. I am pregnant, which means I am sober, swollen, and hungry. Pregnancy is a time filled with excitement, anticipation, and a whole lot of waiting. Between the swollen ankles and morning sickness, jokes can be a respite from all that your spouse is going through. About 140 calories. Whats the best way to get a man to give up his seat to a pregnant woman? Then her friend replies: You are superstitious, Lily! So if you're having a hard pregnancy, these jokes can help make things a little better. I'm really happy that my prayer worked. I answered Duplicate. A very pregnant woman walks into a bar with her girlfriends and orders a diet coke. 2. Top 50 Elephant Jokes For Whatsapp in 2023, Top 50 Wedding Jokes For WhatsApp in 2023, Fatherly Wisdom: 100+ Dad Quotes to Celebrate Your Hero (2023), 100+ Heartwarming Mom Quotes to Express Your Love (2023), 100+ Best Romantic Quotes For Your Love (2023), 50+ Beautiful Life Quotes For All in 2023, 100+ Best Inspirational Quotes For Your Life (2023), 100+ Heartwarming Sister Quotes | Unconditional Love(2023). 53. You dont need a parachute to go skydiving. I said, "Well, you are in a wheelchair.". Interact at your own risk., Ans: Telling the world youre pregnant is like telling the world you had unprotected sex.. A husband comes home sadly. A nurse asks her what's wrong, and the pregnant woman screams, "Shouldn't! What does my dad have in common with Nemo? My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!". Catholic girl goes into the confessional & says to the priest, Here you can find top funny Pregnancy Jokes that you can share your expecting friends. When a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town. Abortion isn't murder. On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized. What do you call it when youre unable to find someone to help you through your pregnancy? Or, have you met with some success applying a healthy dosage of black comedy to your daily life? Today, I asked my phone Siri, why am I still single? and it activated the front camera. For example, cracking out a few of these during a stag night or while out with a few buddies, you should be fine. It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I said, "It was dark, then suddenly very bright.". Asia Yours? A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. A pregnant wife says to her husband: If the child looks like you, it will be a great misfortune. 27. "And how many peaches were there in the can?" continues the judge. Without delving too deeply into the human psyche, oftentimes, humor is used as a means of coping. Whats the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I was really surprised when I found out that a kid made them. Each month has an average of 30 to 31 days, except the last month of pregnancy, which has 5,489,234. Ans: With any luck, right after he graduates college. Clothes are like Billie Eilish songs. Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? A swallow. You can always be used as a bad example. What about my son?" You are just a human who understands humor and the subtleties that go with it. 32. Whats a pregnant ladys excuse for refusing to do something? What are your favorite dark humor jokes to tell? Doctor: Denise. Woman: Ohh, that's actually a nice name. Required fields are marked *. Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. Its sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient. My childbirth instructor said its not pain Ill feel during labor, but pressure. They may not understand you and their smile may be caused by gas instead of your gag, but it's the thought that counts. Dark Humor Jokes. P.S. Can you please hold my hand?. I didnt think so. Curate your cool with TheCoolists reviews, round-ups, and deep dives. Dont think its yours just because you marked it with your urine! , I want drugs, massive amounts of drugs. If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and youre a total hero. For others, its laughing at offensive jokes or sharing memes around the workplace alright, fine, thats me too. 2. Since I became pregnant, my breasts, buttocks, and even my feet have grown. Mom replies: You want to say that you walked down the street and fell on someones dick? When will my baby move? After a kidney stone, nobody says lets have another. For me, its watching the Wrong Turn horror movies. It feels like black humor is designed to make you giggle at the most inappropriate times. 19. And, its not because dark jokes are difficult to understand or take excessive processing power. Or, at the very least, that's what I like to think. Im never having kids, they take 9 months to download!, Take the toothpaste and go brush in the room, I have to pee! *1 minute later* WHEREs THE TOOTHPASTE?!. Why? In case youre looking to lighten your spouses mood and make her feel a bit better, here are some greatmaternity jokesthat will help you in times of need. Dark humor is like food. chanel days of our lives pregnant in real life; swing catalyst skytrak; art cartwright wife; small space rental for baby shower; university of cincinnati daniels hall; empire volleyball club kansas; gal friday burlesque dancer; turkish crimea medal for sale; mercy dental clinic canton ohio phone number. You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car. She still isn't talking to me. Witney Carson Jokes About Still Being 'in a Diaper' Nearly 2 Weeks After Giving Birth By Jennifer Drysdale 3:46 PM PST, January 16, 2021 This video is The father was irritated. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face. We have all heard the common craving of pickles and ice cream. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor. 1. What is the first word of a baby going to be? Everyone congratulates you, but no one asks you how many times you got f**ked to get there. 24. Well, how is the child? She clearly isn't a fan of protection. I dont want to go shopping!. "Congratulations! He said I was a sight for psoriasis. Continue on at your peril; belly laughs and guilt lay ahead of you. Whats the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? Then that man told me: Firstly, this is my wife. Chances are, theyll love them just as much as you do. I dont have a Lamborghini in my garage. Wife: What did the fertility doctor say? I'm afraid she might get pregnant, what should I do ? Jokes about being pregnant are a great way to help your spouse feel a bit at ease. My wife has been pregnant for 8 months now. So I unplugged his life support. 59. daddy did you give mummy a baby ? Won't! 46. The judge gave me 15 years. After a while, she leaned over and asked, Which one is yours?. 9. "Hi disappointed, I'm dad" To scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lion, then it died! It is also essential to keep in mind that while dark jokes may be offensive, they should never be used to offend. Found the best joke for christmas. "Are you still holding the ladder?". Often called black humor or gallows humor, it is something that lies in the underbelly of many. Is there any reason for a husband to be in the delivery room while his wife is in labor? Is there anything I should refrain from while recovering from childbirth? Europe 10. Why is it so great to be a test tube baby? Scanner looked at him seriously and answered with silence: Your sons gender is a girl. 52. They say its not very traumatic for the baby because its in water. 31. What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth? 51. Have you ever thrown your bae out of the bed to make more room for your pregnancy pillow? For instance, when you push them down the stairs. Do you have to squeeze a watermelon-sized person out of your lady-hole? Guy: No I'm sure it didn't. The sea section. Then he replies: I would like it if it does not affect your figure, a bicycle. Are you still holding the ladder?. A Lion suddenly jumped in front of him. The same way pleasure and pain can flirt their way through life together, dark humor and jokes of a sexual nature are a near-perfect pair. Workplace. A chance for the family to get together and talk about their day. Did you know that your chances of becoming pregnant are hereditary? Suddenly older man replies: You know shes pregnant too! Midwife: why? Why aren't orphan jokes funny? If at first, you dont succeed then skydiving definitely isnt for you. Why, yes in that its completely natural to take drugs to alleviate excruciating pain! Never break someones heart, they only have one. Turns out I'm adopted. What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? 75. What are the most common pregnancy cravings? What bird helps prevent pregnancy? Ive stopped making jokes about Covid to my brother. Have you ever sneezed and peed at the same time? Daughter. 18. To keep the vegetables cool and fresh. If the baby can hear everything inside the belly, then I am pretty sure his first word is going to be f**k. To pee or not to pee is never the question. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn a commission. Hardly. 82. However, comedy is one surefire way to help people relax, destress and let go of things. A pregnant woman lapses into a coma. What do you call inexpensive circumcision? Woman: No No No! "Hmmmm. 77. It was because of a face-off in the corner. Look at anything from stand-up comedians to tv sitcoms and comedies. I felt like a frat boy. Katherine Heigl, Having a child is liking getting a tattoo on your face. I didnt think so. Humor is a very subjective thing. Ans: Not if you change the babys diaper very quickly! Besides, your partner and all your mommy friends will howl with laughter because they get it. The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. He wasnt a mourning person. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Why did the run-on sentence take a pregnancy test? If April showers bring in May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Me: Let the James begin! 2. My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." Like a superhero. They both cant be found. He still feels nothing. The man still felt nothing, so they go home happy until they find the milkman dead on the porch. Husband: No, nothing. He was so good, I don't even. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Dark humor would be saying ten babies in one trashcan. Not my brother. It's dark because there's no light. How will I know if my puking is morning sickness or the flu? "What?" "Usually an overdose," I told her. New Mother: "Well, that's not so bad. I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Sense of Humor Sports I threw a boomerang a few years ago. One another: I did a pregnancy test yesterday. If you pee on them, they disappear. Who should give way to whom? A month later, my wife gave birth to a big boy. Problem solved. Things like, my job, my phone number and my address, A woman threatens her boyfriend : Ans: And the one per cent that manages to get pregnant while taking birth control. Yes, but youll have an even better chance if he wears nothing at all. I still fit into those jeans I mean, they hurt when I wear them, but Im still in them! Drew Barrymore, I never stopped burping. We're talking about subjects like: Disability Disease Death Abuse Racism Sexism War Poverty Sex and Sexuality These are all subjects that make people uneasy when discussing them. 58. When a husband came home, he saw that his wife was standing naked in front of the mirror and examining her belly. View in galleryComedy should be above censorship, in many ways, because it is not condoning anything. Subrata Pradhan. So I packed up my stuff and right. Ans: Why, yesin that its completely natural to take drugs to alleviate excruciating pain! Yes, please whine to me about how tired you are today. What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Somehow they still got in! A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. So I went home. I swear to God I can smell the TV. Amanda Seyfried, Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside. Rita Rudner. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. An older man goes to the exit, smiling at her and says: Daughter, you will have a son! A bus full of children. My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. A man wakes from a coma. He impatiently squeezes my hand. 61. The first sonogram pic is like a tourist pic of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Yours? My girlfriends dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. He laughs at jokes that portray black men as sex-obsessed criminals. (b) Thats it, youre done! Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted. Are you pregnant? Oh, no, the new mother thinks. Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? "I think I am pregnant." - "Don't do this darling ! Today was the worst day of my life. A pregnant woman went to an astrologer. They both think,"Oh god, my mom is going to kill me". I wasnt even in the city that day. 95. Fall "Hi disappointed, I'm dad." I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. He asks, "How did this happen my child?" blank encompasses the processes associated with perception Back to Home. A pregnant mother asks her first child: Whom would you like more, a sister or a brother? 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. *9 months later* Wife: My water broke! If anything, having a penchant for giggling at these dark jokes might signify that you are a very intelligent individual. My favorite Disney movie is The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Im nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge! Last weekend, I forgot my glasses at my friends home, and there was a party in the dark, and there were several of them. A guy was wandering in the forest where he encountered a tiger. You know I would have married you and provided for the babies. Hello, John, is that you? Mommy Poppins, Why dont you try squeezing something the size of a watermelon out of an opening the size of a lemon and see how hot YOU look? Look Whos Talking (1989), Im 10 days late. And theres no way you could have had it and just not noticed? Nine Months (1995). - "Wait, what ? . We have pregnancy quotes, babymoon tips, pregnancy meal plan ideas, and more! If you are nervous of an easily offended disposition, then maybe you should take a look at one of our other, more generally palatable posts instead. They both thought "my Mom's gonna kill me. Pregnant wife: No, honey. 56. I used to work on an assembly line that made pregnancy pamphlets, but I quit. Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a tyrant. Australia Can you give me some advice? "So what are you going to do this year?" She asks surprisingly: True, how did you know? What happens when you eat a pregnant girls food? A wife asked her husband: Who is that screaming there so loud? The nurse, bewildered, turns to a doctor. 2. 65. Mike, why do you keep calling your bungee jumping accident the pregnancy scare?. Negative! "What's a grudge pregnancy?" Suddenly her husband shouts from the back of the court room, "Your Honor, she also stole a can of peanuts!". When will my baby move? What do you want? Wife: I'll show up pregnant and untouched by my husband. Pregnant women afraid of What part of biology class? It beats boiling them in a saucepan. 62. The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.". "But I thought Tony recently had a vasectomy." I hate having visitors. Vehicle Then Ann replies: So what? 5 Stages of Pregnancy: 1: Crying 2: Peeing 3: Crying because you peed 4: Peeing because you're crying 5: The toilet is your home now. Are you out of your mind? Ans: Hormones and no alcohol. Ans: Having to sing Wheels on the Bus 20,000 times a day. When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.Nothing special, he explained. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. So I threw him out. 68. ", But apparently it just changes the colour of the baby. What's the difference between jelly and jam? Moreover, if you felt guilty about laughing at some of these jokes, then you need to worry even less. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow. The idea of being heard without having to speak appeals to her. 19. Then the wife answered smiling: This is nonsense. For as long as comedy has existed, people have laughed at misfortune. Mealtimes are often a place for good conversation. I now live in constant fear. *later at dinner* What did he name the boy? First off, dark jokes take subjects that are considered either offensive or uncomfortable and turn them into a joke. He's an idiot! Being pregnant is an occupational hazard of being a wife. Queen Victoria, Theres a whole birthing plan, but what is the plan other than to get it out? What one person may find pant-wettingly hilarious, another may find dull and boring. After giving birth, I can sleep even while standing! A play on words here, a pun there, and you have a collection of mildly offensive jokes that are still reasonably safe to use in most social circles. Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. 29. Little Johnny said: Yesterday at dinner my sister told us that she was pregnant and dad said: Great! How long does the average woman be in labor? I guess I was wrong about him. Woman: Oh no, not my brother! And God says, "Huh, not Earth again, last time I went there I got this Jewish girl pregnant and they haven't stopped talking about it since!'. Did we get a rise out of you with any of our offensive jokes? My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo. The doctor replies, "No, you have bowel cancer. You also acknowledge that owing to the limited nature of communication possible on For the nine months Im pregnant with a boy, shouldnt I be paid 1.78 times my salary? What part of biology class do pregnant women fear? 49. Me: Oh no! Husband:Hey Pregnant, I'm Dad Parenting.Firstcry.com accepts no liability for any errors, omissions or misrepresentations. Ans: Play All-Star by Smashmouth all day, every day while your wife slowly goes crazy. The doctor said, "It's what we in the medical profession call a grudge pregnancy." Now shut the hell up. What do a pregnant woman and a burned cake have in common? Why dont cannibals eat clowns?