I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. For your information, Im in a relationship with food. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? 76. Let them know that you're itching to go on a date. Just Smile And Nod Your email address will not be published. 36. My grandfather had a ton of these. Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". Hemali Adhiya, ICF Certified Relationship Coach, Expertise: Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Youre not going to use the same response to your dad as you would your best friend, right? What to say when your crush asks how you are? Learn more about us here. 40. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. Heart-shattering. Is your family tree a cactus? He was a good OP, of impeccable character. For more information, please see our Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. Maybe their roommate was sick. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. Through humorous musings about Scalia's . I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. Checklists & Reminders! Although for some, traveling to your partner might not be an option. Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. The only thing offending me right now is your face. You speak as if youre not single yourself! 97. 64. 100. How to respond to an ex asking how you are? Use the opportunity to make a good impression. It could always have been worse. Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. This is a good response to throw out there. My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. 66. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Because it sounds like some kind of automated message. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. Impressive! Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. April 6, 2018 There's nothing funny about being in a courtroom. Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. This does not seem right. Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! 86. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . (Use a sexy tone). Even if life is rough, be happy that you're still alive. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. (Explained). Im always there when I need me. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Just so you know, I value me time over we time. 62. (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! Best 45 seconds of my life. 22. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. Youre worse. 90. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. I dont feel that great, but look! Living an amazing dream. 52. Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. 4. One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. Was that comment meant to offend me? [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. 2. While most of us answer with an uninspired I am fine, thank you, the universal greeting question how are you? I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath. Reply. I'm fine. Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. 60. 77. Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. How do you usually respond to the question? *wink*. If you're taking a vacation and staying home, your clients or coworkers may still expect you to pop into the office and answer their emails. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. Could have been worse, right. "Yeah, you're three years late. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. Who told you that? 51. No, keep talking. 55. Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. Tip #3 - Confidence is Key. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. What do you mean Im still single. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? Don Draper? Oof, gotta hide! Moving in with Roommates? A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. Click here for additional information. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. 13. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. 85. You dont need to say it. You're the reason God created the middle finger. Haha basically a sassy way to say, "I'm still alive." Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. 99. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. Im in a relationship with myself. If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. Hey, whered you get that nose? In fact, theyre taking too much of it. He will be missed. Im single by choice. 88. Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. Nothing that you probably cant figure out if you tried. While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. By acting as though they are replying too fast, you highlight the fact that they are replying too slow. Living a life of suppressed rage, emotional imbalance, and denial. Physically? For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. But half the time, it is a nightmare. Every civilisation has its genesis and its conclusion. Your email address will not be published. Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. Here's another way to respond to your crush. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. 91. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. "See, I will finally make you smile.". Because a single-storey is much more economical than a double-storey. 15. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. Is it your job to spread ignorance? No, I'm Finnish. Thats because Im still waiting for you. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. 14. Thats why Im single. At least my hair looks amazing. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. I agree, thanks for sharing. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? What's your sign? Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. Better than most, but maybe not as well as others. 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. still alive 810 GIFs. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! 94. There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. My psychiatrist says that I shouldnt discuss it with strangers. Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. "You know I can do this anytime.". Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. 15. 2. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Shane from The L Word? If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. . Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct?