An in-depth interview technique was used with probing questions to get the perception from polygamous women about their life experiences, reasons behind polygamous marriage, and what strategies were used by co-wives to deal with such relationships. Mrs. Mustafa said, she approved and permitted her husband to 2nd marriage. As she had a new born she told when she was admitted to the hospital 1st wife of her husband prepared and brought food for her from the home. The policymakers and law enforcement agencies should pass laws for the welfare of polygamous women. The statistics are stacked against you, Depending on the source, divorce rates are pretty scary. In rare cases, men have carried on double lives, marrying two women and supporting two families, with neither wife knowing about the other. Yet there are many other cultures that support a mans choice to take more than one wife and believe it is something that can benefit the women as well. Jealousy is something almost everyone is afflicted with at some point and just because someone chose to be in a polygamous marriage doesn't mean they deserve less sympathy than anyone else. Too many people are dying because of the conflict between monogamy and polygamy. Which Board Game Sums Up Your Life: "Aggravation"? Brigham Young and His Wives. Al-Krenawi A, Graham JR, Ben-Shimol-Jacobsen S. Attitudes toward and reasons for polygamy differentiated by gender and age among Bedouin-Arabs of the Negev. First theme: reasons of polygamy as findings indicated that majority of females allowed their husbands for co-wives due to infertility or having only female children, husbands love marriage, and in-laws family pressure because they wanted to secure their marriage instead of divorce. The second wife shouldn't marry unless he promises to tell the first wife. The disadvantage of being a second wife Sense of insecurity The second wife will face insecurity toward her husband which will take her in a severe sense of doubts and auspiciousness. When people. For the majority of these women, infertility, love marriage by husband, lack of social and financial support, and fear of divorce were the cited reasons for allowing co-wives in their marriage. In the long run, it is usually the second wife who is accepting of polygamy. 2002; 32(1-2): 58-66. Polygamy has become common practice in many communities including Pakistan. READ MORE:Customary law know your rights. You are a little older now, and you learned some harsh realities. 2020; 39(2): 750-760. Finding the right path for their family also provides an opportunity for bonding. Further, they accepted co-wives as fate roles and made compromises rather than separation in most of the wives even they had kids. Polygamy is often confused with polyamory and bigamy. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? But Ron and I had already endured hardship . Mrs. Ahmad was a second wife and it was a love marriage. Gabe and I won't have that. Normally the husband stays in the main house and then the wives have their own homes outside, Lillian explains. Should second wives post billboards proclaiming that we are not necessarily women who flounce through life wearing ankle bracelets, feather boas, and alligator shoes? Can I marry second wife? The findings were consistent may be due to cultural and religious resemblance because Al-Krenawi and his colleagues conducted their study in Arab states. Most women dreaming of settling down probably aren't imagining doing so with a man who is already married. But that's not the case in Canada, says Imam Hamid Slimi of the Sayeda Khadija . 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Sometimes the first wifeis forced to accept it because of her own limited circumstances, and sometimes she declares war or leaves her husband." The study is not against polygamy but the need to improve the family structure of polygamous families is a major concern. In Muslim families the textual basis is provided by the Holy Quran for the practice of polygamy: "Marry women of your choice two, or three, or four, but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one". A lady was working in front of her husbands' clinic and usually visited the clinic. In this concern two research experts (co-authors) were consulted. There are seriously complicated stunts involved-- trapeze artists have less difficulty in learning when to disappear and resurface at exactly the right moments than your average second wife. Literature indicates that the structure of the polygamous women's families badly affected the psychological and social functioning of polygamous women and children [9-11]. The second wife will have all of these extra people in her life that she never bargained for and it can be a lonely or isolating feeling. Eva wasnt happy, but her husband went ahead and traditionally married the two women without her consent. The Advantages and Disadvantages of Polygamous Homes. Archives of Women's Mental Health. All of that financial mess can translate into a financially difficult second marriage. But surprisingly enough, she understood and agreed to it. How Is It Different From Marriage Counseling? Mrs. Mustafa was another 1st wife. All the above shows that there is really no marriage between the both parties. Community awareness of the effects of polygamy on women through media campaigns is a beginning step. Ibn Qudamah writes: That tends to bring with it even more debt and insecurities. Though plural marriage is banned in developed courtiers, it is surprisingly common, and popular, that 55% of the women share their husbands in developed countries while an average of 16% of women in less developed nations. Second marriages also have a much larger cast of characters than any first marriage. Rehman J. She said "first wife of my husband always get more privilege than me." The questions were translated into English according to the needs of international journal. When he proposed to her she first came to me to check if he had my blessing. Then I learned that marriages arent like cars, independent of the people in them, to be fixed according to an owner's manual. Limited-Time Deal on Marriage Course. A typical statistic out there now says that 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce, and. Not many people like a second wife. A qualitative methodology was adopted to explore the experiences of polygamous women. The co-wives shared their several experiences and reasons why they allowed their husbands for 2nd or 3rd marriage. Participant Mrs. Abdullah stated that in her pain after her 1st husband's death and later divorce from her previous husband due to barrenness when she met her third husband who dealt her effectively with her emotional pain. Mrs. Kamal due to the age factor she was very distressed at the time of her husbands' 2nd marriage but with time she accepted this relationship and had a good relation with 2nd wife and with her children. As she said 'I am unable to fulfill the needs or desires of my husband, so I allowed him for 2nd marriage. She does not have an apartment . International Journal of Social Psychiatry. It is permissible for women and their family guardians to stipulate a condition in the marriage contract that the husband may not marry a second wife against her will. Mrs. Amir was the 2nd wife and also had no children her husband married her for children and his family again forced him for 3rd wife by giving the reference of the religious doctrine. The first theme was generated from the verbatim of the first question which was asked to polygamous women. She stated, I allowed a co-wife in my marriage because I was not able to have more children after my second child. "I'm in a traditionalist polygamist relationship. Current findings are in line in terms of infertile women who accepted co-wives rather than divorce but those having children never bother to admit or respect co-wives as one of female told she is living in a separate home. He might marry a second wife before his divorce is complete, for example. The sensitivity and the comfort level of discussing polygyny may have affected the sample size. To find out the reasons for multiple spouses by men. Khazuyeva also has two parking spaces in an apartment building on Moscow's Mosfilmovskaya Street. After 11 years passed when she had not conceived her in-laws forced her husband for co-wife. Christmas and having the whole family there together. Social Change. Her in-laws forced her husband to marry another female because of only female children. I would also like to add that polygamy is not a staple in Islamic culture, nor is it a tradition. The reverse is probably true, too: When women are taken from the marriage market, men suffer. The purpose of this study is to investigate married womens experiences in polygamous marriages and their ways of coping to accept this relationship. He killed her when I was nine years old and he was arrested. The design was flexible and consent was taken for an in-depth interview. 'I don't care about anything. The world is their oyster. I would never accept polygamy unless my husband decides to divorce me to marry a second wife. He was a handsome 25-year-old who worked as a miner, and when he asked her gogo if he could marry Lillian, Nomqondiso agreed. 2008; 42(2), 103-117. U.S. immigration law frowns on being married to more than one person at the same time, and prohibits both bigamists and polygamists from becoming naturalized citizens. He's not a wealthy man, he has another family and I accepted that.'. Lillian takes care of the children and is responsible for the admin of the taxi business, and Thembi still works as a nurse. 2019; 86(3): 1332-1370. Accepting being a second wife can be challenging for those who are considering polygamy. So why is the phrase second wife so unnerving? Mormon women fear eternal polygamy, study shows. Between birth and death: Female infanticide in nineteenth-century China.